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As women, we are told from every angle that there are things about us we could be improving, almost always to someone else’s benefit. We should be taller, thinner, have larger breasts, have smaller waists. We should be having more sex, but not too much. We should be smiling when a man passes us on the street, but not so polite that he may mistake it as some sort of invitation. We must learn to be quiet but not be a frigid bitch. And all of this advice is for our own good, we’re told, because it is teaching us the person we don’t automatically know we should be. From the covers of women’s magazines to the mouth of the man who didn’t respect us in our relationship, there is always a better version of ourselves out there to attain.
So when, in the face of all of this, we say that we are going to love ourselves in every way and work on being more forgiving of our flaws actively, we are going against a very distinct grain. We are refusing to couch our self-love in modesty, and are being as kind to ourselves as we would be to another person we had fallen in love with. We touch ourselves, admire ourselves, and encourage ourselves with just as much conviction as we would with someone else. We write about ourselves in positive ways. We take pictures of ourselves that we enjoy sharing and admiring. And though this will likely be dismissed as being “stuck-up” or “an attention whore,” it is imperative to continue doing it.
Because the world simply needs women who are more confident. It needs women who are not browbeaten into submission by a society who does not and will never fully love them for who they are. It needs women telling other women that to love herself and to find herself utterly beautiful has nothing to do with selfishness, only happiness. If there is one person in this world every woman should be loving unconditionally, it is herself. Because when she does not love herself first and foremost, she begins to put her worth and her beauty in the hands of what a man, or a magazine, or a more popular girl might dole out. She becomes dependent approval that will never fully come, and waits for someone to save her who never could.
Loving yourself is not conceited. It is as much about self-care and fulfillment as taking a long bath, or treating yourself to a purchase you have earned with your own hard work. It is simply a moment of happiness you bring to yourself, confidence you draw from within by whichever means you deem necessary. Imagine a world in which each little girl believed in herself wholly and knew that she was more beautiful and worthy than anyone could ever prove to her. Imagine if she felt that she could accomplish whatever she wanted, and didn’t need to wait for someone to give the green light. Imagine if she could see herself as a titan of industry, or a screen star, or a sought-after surgeon, and go for it no matter how many people might not approve. Imagine the lines at the unemployment office of Prince Charmings who no longer need to save a girl by telling her she is deserving, because her answer would have universally become, “Don’t worry, I know that already.
Chelsea Fagan (via internal-acceptance-movement)